In today’s fast-paced digital world, the dynamics of dating and intimacy have undergone a seismic shift. Esther Perel, renowned psychotherapist and author, delves into the complexities of modern relationships in her recent appearance on ‘The Diary of a CEO.’ With a compelling blend of insight and candor, she highlights a pressing issue that many shy away from discussing: the stark decline in sexual connection among couples. Swipe culture, coupled with an epidemic of loneliness, often leaves individuals feeling unfulfilled despite being more connected than ever. In this blog post, we will unpack key takeaways from Perel’s conversation, fact-checking the assertions and illuminating the hidden truths behind our current relationship crisis. Join us as we explore the factors contributing to declining intimacy and what can be done to revive meaningful connections in our lives.

Find the according transcript on TRNSCRBR

All information as of 06/14/2025

Fact Check Analysis

Claim

The unique moment in history we are experiencing is redesigning our communication and ways of connecting in relationships.

Veracity Rating: 4 out of 4

Facts

## Evaluating the Claim: Redesigning Communication and Relationships

The claim that our current historical moment is redesigning our communication and ways of connecting in relationships is supported by various observations and analyses from experts like Esther Perel. Here's a detailed evaluation of this claim, focusing on the societal shift in communication methods and relationship dynamics:

### Social Atrophy and Digital Communication

Esther Perel highlights **social atrophy** as a significant issue, where the decline in face-to-face interactions and the rise in digital communication have weakened social skills and made genuine connections harder to achieve[1][2][5]. This trend is partly a legacy of the pandemic but also reflects broader societal changes, such as increased working from home and digital communication, leading to fewer in-person interactions[4][5].

### Impact on Relationships and Intimacy

Perel notes that this shift has contributed to a **sexual recession**, with many millennials and Gen Z individuals experiencing reduced sexual frequency and intimacy due to diminished social skills and reliance on dating apps[5]. This suggests that the way we connect and form relationships is indeed changing, with technology playing a central role.

### Importance of Real-Life Interactions

Perel emphasizes the need for **real-life interactions** and **emotional availability** to foster deeper connections. She argues that attraction in long-term relationships requires ongoing engagement and novelty, suggesting that individuals must actively invest in keeping their partnerships vibrant[5]. This perspective underscores the importance of reassessing how we connect with others in an age dominated by technology.

### Evidence and Validity

The claim is supported by observations of increased isolation and decreased social skills due to digital communication[4][5]. While specific scientific studies are not cited here, research in social psychology and communication studies often highlights the challenges of maintaining intimacy and deep connections in a digitally mediated environment.

### Conclusion

In conclusion, the claim that our current historical moment is redesigning our communication and ways of connecting in relationships is valid. The shift towards digital communication and the decline in face-to-face interactions have significant implications for social skills and relationship dynamics. Experts like Esther Perel provide valuable insights into these changes, emphasizing the need for real-life interactions and emotional engagement to maintain meaningful connections.

### Recommendations for Further Research

1. **Quantitative Studies**: Conduct surveys or experiments to quantify the impact of digital communication on social skills and relationship satisfaction.
2. **Qualitative Analysis**: Use in-depth interviews or focus groups to explore how individuals perceive and adapt to these changes in communication and relationship dynamics.
3. **Longitudinal Research**: Track changes in social interaction and relationship quality over time to understand the long-term effects of these trends.

By exploring these avenues, researchers can provide more nuanced insights into the evolving nature of human connection in the digital age.

Citations

Claim

One in three men under 30 in the US reported no sex in the past year, three times the rate from 2008.

Veracity Rating: 3 out of 4

Facts

## Evaluating the Claim: One in Three Men Under 30 in the US Reported No Sex in the Past Year

The claim that one in three men under 30 in the US reported no sex in the past year, which is three times the rate from 2008, touches on a broader trend of declining sexual activity among young people. To assess this claim, we need to examine recent studies and surveys on sexual activity among young men in the United States.

### Evidence from Recent Studies

1. **Indiana University Study**: Research from Indiana University found that nearly one in three U.S. men aged 18 to 24 reported no sexual activity in the past year, marking an increase from 19% to 31% over a certain period[3]. This study aligns with the notion of increased sexual inactivity among young men but does not provide a direct comparison to the 2008 rate.

2. **Trend in Sexual Inactivity**: The trend of increasing sexual inactivity among young people is supported by various studies indicating a decline in sexual activity over the past few decades. For instance, between 1991 and 2021, the percentage of high school males who had never engaged in sexual intercourse increased significantly[2].

3. **Comparison to 2008 Rates**: While specific data from 2008 is not readily available in the provided sources, the general trend suggests an increase in sexual inactivity among young men over the past few decades. However, to confirm the claim that the rate is three times higher than in 2008, more specific historical data would be necessary.

### Analysis and Conclusion

– **Trend Validation**: The claim that there is an increase in sexual inactivity among young men is supported by studies showing a rise in the percentage of young men reporting no sexual activity[3].

– **Lack of Specific Historical Data**: The claim that the rate is three times higher than in 2008 cannot be directly verified without specific data from that year. However, the overall trend of increased sexual inactivity among young people is consistent with broader societal shifts and research findings.

– **Societal and Technological Factors**: Experts like Esther Perel suggest that factors such as decreased face-to-face interactions and increased reliance on digital communication contribute to this trend, making genuine connections harder to achieve[Summary].

In summary, while the claim about one in three men under 30 reporting no sex in the past year aligns with observed trends of increased sexual inactivity, the specific comparison to 2008 rates requires more detailed historical data for full verification.

Citations

Claim

In Japan over 40% of young adults are virgins and many say that they have no interest in sex.

Veracity Rating: 2 out of 4

Facts

To evaluate the claim: **"In Japan over 40% of young adults are virgins and many say that they have no interest in sex,"** we must examine available data on sexual behavior among young adults in Japan and contextualize it within broader social trends.

## Evidence from Research and Surveys

**Virginity Rates Among Young Adults in Japan**

– **Recent Surveys:** Multiple sources indicate that a significant proportion of young adults in Japan report being virgins. For example, a 2025 report notes that roughly 50% of young adults aged 18–29 in Japan are virgins[2]. However, this figure is higher than some other reputable sources, which may reflect differences in survey methodology or sample selection.
– **Older but Widely Cited Data:** Earlier studies, such as those referenced in news articles from 2015–2016, reported that around 42% of men and 44.2% of women in certain age groups (often unmarried young adults) admitted to being virgins[5]. These figures have been widely cited in discussions about Japan’s "sexless generation."
– **Academic Research:** A 2019 study published in *BMC Public Health* found that about one in four Japanese adults under age 39 are virgins, which is a lower but still substantial proportion[3]. This suggests that while the 40%+ figure may apply to specific subgroups or age brackets, the overall rate for all young adults is somewhat lower.

**Interest in Sex and Relationships**

– **Attitudes Toward Sex:** While high rates of virginity are documented, there is less direct evidence that "many" young adults in Japan have "no interest in sex." The *BMC Public Health* study notes that most virgins in the 25–39 age group (about 80%) still hope to get married in their lifetimes, which implies a desire for romantic and potentially sexual relationships in the future[3].
– **Cultural and Social Trends:** Japan is experiencing a broader trend of delayed marriage, reduced sexual activity, and declining birth rates. This is often attributed to factors such as economic pressures, social anxiety, and changing attitudes toward relationships, rather than a widespread lack of interest in sex per se[3][5].

## Contextualizing the Claim

– **Claim Accuracy:** The claim that "over 40% of young adults are virgins" is supported by some surveys, particularly those focusing on unmarried individuals or specific age groups (e.g., 18–29 or 20–39)[2][5]. However, broader academic studies suggest a lower but still significant rate (around 25% for under-39s)[3].
– **Interest in Sex:** The assertion that "many say that they have no interest in sex" is less substantiated. While there is evidence of reduced sexual activity and delayed relationships, most young adults still express a desire for marriage and, by implication, romantic and sexual relationships[3].

## Broader Social and Relationship Dynamics

– **Social Atrophy and Sexual Recession:** The summary referencing Esther Perel’s discussion highlights global trends of declining face-to-face interactions and increased digital communication, which can weaken social skills and reduce opportunities for intimacy. These trends are also observed in Japan, where social anxiety and economic factors contribute to delayed or reduced sexual activity[3].
– **Relationship Dynamics:** Perel’s emphasis on the need for ongoing engagement and emotional connection in relationships is relevant to Japan’s context, where many young adults struggle with forming and maintaining romantic partnerships[3].

## Conclusion

– **Claim Evaluation:** The claim that "over 40% of young adults in Japan are virgins" is partially accurate for certain age groups and survey samples, but not universally representative of all young adults. The broader academic literature suggests a lower but still notable rate of virginity among young adults in Japan.
– **Interest in Sex:** There is limited evidence that "many" young adults in Japan have no interest in sex. Most virgins still express a desire for marriage and romantic relationships, indicating that lack of opportunity or social barriers may be more significant factors than outright disinterest[3][5].

**In summary:** The claim is partially supported by available data, but should be qualified to reflect the nuances of survey methodologies and the broader context of social and relationship trends in Japan. The assertion about widespread disinterest in sex is not strongly supported by current evidence.

Citations

Claim

People are spending less time together where they are actually attentive to each other.

Veracity Rating: 4 out of 4

Facts

To evaluate the claim that "People are spending less time together where they are actually attentive to each other," we must consider both qualitative insights from relationship experts and quantitative sociological research.

## Expert Insight: Esther Perel and Social Atrophy

Esther Perel, a leading relationship therapist, has identified "social atrophy" as a growing concern in modern society. She describes this as a decline in face-to-face interactions and the weakening of social skills, largely attributed to digital communication and over-scheduled lives. Perel notes that fewer shared spaces and less spontaneous interaction have made genuine, attentive connections harder to achieve[1][2][4]. This trend is reflected in the way people now expect more from their intimate relationships—seeking not just companionship but also identity, meaning, and community—often placing unrealistic burdens on romantic partners[3].

Perel also highlights the "sexual recession," where younger generations report less frequent sexual activity and intimacy, partly due to diminished social skills and increased reliance on dating apps[3]. She argues that attraction and intimacy in long-term relationships require ongoing engagement, novelty, and emotional availability, rather than passive biological responses[3][5].

## Sociological and Psychological Evidence

**1. Decline in Face-to-Face Interaction**

Multiple studies support the notion that digital communication has reduced the quantity and quality of in-person interactions. For example, research published in the *Journal of Social and Personal Relationships* has found that increased screen time is associated with lower relationship satisfaction and less time spent in meaningful, face-to-face conversation. While these studies do not always specify "attentiveness," they consistently report that digital communication is less effective at fostering emotional connection and understanding.

**2. Social Atrophy and Relationship Dynamics**

The concept of "social atrophy" is not a formal scientific term but is widely used by experts to describe the erosion of social skills and the ability to connect deeply with others. This is supported by psychological research showing that social skills, like any other skills, require practice. When people spend less time in real-life social situations, their ability to be attentive and empathetic can diminish[5].

**3. Expectations and Emotional Needs**

Perel and other experts argue that as traditional communal structures (like religion and extended family) have waned, people increasingly look to romantic relationships to fulfill a broader range of emotional needs—belonging, identity, community, and meaning[3]. This shift has made relationships more complex and demanding, often leading to disappointment when partners cannot meet these heightened expectations.

## Summary Table: Key Points

## Conclusion

The claim that "People are spending less time together where they are actually attentive to each other" is supported by expert analysis and sociological research. Esther Perel’s concept of "social atrophy" and the documented decline in face-to-face interaction due to digital communication and busy schedules provide a strong foundation for this claim[1][2][3]. While direct scientific studies on "attentiveness" are limited, the broader trends in relationship dynamics and social behavior corroborate the assertion that genuine, attentive connection is becoming rarer in modern society.

Therefore, the claim is valid based on current expert and sociological evidence.

Citations

Claim

If you have less connection less attention less intimacy less interest why do you think that people are suddenly going to be turned on?

Veracity Rating: 4 out of 4

Facts

## Evaluating the Claim: Correlation Between Emotional Connection and Sexual Attraction

The claim posits that a decrease in emotional connection, attention, intimacy, and interest would logically lead to a decrease in sexual attraction. This assertion is supported by psychological studies and insights from relationship experts like Esther Perel, who highlight the importance of emotional connection in maintaining sexual attraction, especially within long-term relationships.

### Psychological Studies on Desire and Relationship Dynamics

1. **Emotional Connection and Intimacy**: Research suggests that emotional intimacy is a crucial factor in maintaining sexual desire within relationships. Studies have shown that couples who report higher levels of emotional intimacy also report higher levels of sexual satisfaction. This supports the idea that emotional connection is essential for maintaining sexual attraction.

2. **Social Atrophy and Its Impact**: Esther Perel's concept of "social atrophy" refers to the decline in face-to-face interactions and deep social connections, which can negatively impact sexual relationships. This decline in social skills and genuine connections can lead to feelings of isolation and disconnection, further reducing sexual desire[2][3].

3. **Role of Novelty and Engagement**: Perel emphasizes the need for ongoing engagement and novelty in relationships to maintain attraction. This aligns with psychological theories that novelty and excitement can enhance sexual desire by stimulating the brain's reward system.

4. **Story-Based Understanding of Relationships**: Perel advocates for a narrative approach to understanding relationships, where emotional connection and interaction are central. This perspective is supported by research indicating that shared experiences and emotional narratives can strengthen relationships and enhance intimacy.

### Conclusion

The claim that reduced emotional connection leads to decreased sexual attraction is supported by both psychological studies and expert insights. Emotional intimacy, social connection, and ongoing engagement are critical components of maintaining sexual desire in relationships. The decline in these aspects, as highlighted by Perel's concept of social atrophy, can indeed lead to a decrease in sexual attraction and intimacy.

### References

While specific academic references are not provided in the search results, the following points are generally supported by research in psychology and relationship dynamics:

– **Emotional Intimacy and Sexual Satisfaction**: Studies have consistently shown that emotional intimacy is positively correlated with sexual satisfaction.
– **Social Atrophy and Isolation**: The decline in face-to-face interactions can lead to social isolation, negatively impacting sexual relationships.
– **Novelty and Engagement**: Novelty and engagement are key factors in maintaining sexual desire by stimulating the brain's reward system.
– **Narrative Approach to Relationships**: Shared experiences and emotional narratives can strengthen relationships and enhance intimacy.

For detailed academic references, consulting peer-reviewed journals in psychology and relationship studies would provide further evidence supporting these points.

Citations

Claim

The quality of your relationships will determine the quality of your lives.

Veracity Rating: 4 out of 4

Facts

To evaluate the claim, **"The quality of your relationships will determine the quality of your lives,"** it is necessary to examine both the psychological and sociological evidence regarding the impact of relationships on well-being and life satisfaction.

## Scientific and Academic Support

**1. Psychological Research on Relationships and Well-being**

A substantial body of research in psychology and sociology supports the idea that the quality of one’s relationships is a strong predictor of overall life satisfaction and mental health. Studies consistently show that individuals with strong, supportive relationships tend to experience greater happiness, better physical health, and increased longevity. For example, the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest-running studies on adult life, found that close relationships are the most significant factor in happiness and health over the lifespan.

**2. Social Atrophy and Modern Challenges**

Esther Perel’s discussion of "social atrophy"—the gradual decline in face-to-face interactions and weakening of social skills—aligns with current research on the effects of digital communication and social isolation. Research indicates that reduced in-person social contact can lead to increased loneliness, anxiety, and depression, which in turn negatively affect overall life quality[2][4]. The rise of digital communication and dating apps has changed how people form and maintain relationships, sometimes leading to superficial connections and a decline in intimacy and sexual satisfaction, especially among younger generations[2][4].

**3. The Role of Emotional Connection and Novelty**

Perel’s emphasis on the importance of ongoing engagement, emotional availability, and novelty in relationships is supported by psychological theories such as self-expansion theory, which posits that individuals seek to grow and expand their sense of self through close relationships. Maintaining attraction and intimacy in long-term relationships requires active effort, emotional investment, and the creation of shared experiences[4].

## Evidence from Esther Perel’s Perspective

Esther Perel highlights that as communal and religious structures have waned, people increasingly look to their intimate relationships to fulfill existential needs for belonging, identity, community, and meaning[4]. This shift places greater pressure on romantic partnerships, which are now expected to provide not only companionship and support but also personal growth and fulfillment. When these needs are unmet due to social atrophy or poor relationship quality, individuals may experience diminished life satisfaction[2][4].

Perel also notes that the decline in social skills and the rise of digital communication have contributed to a "sexual recession," where many young people report less frequent and less satisfying sexual relationships. This trend is linked to a broader decline in the quality of social connections, which are foundational to trust, support, and intimacy[2][4].

## Summary Table: Key Points

## Conclusion

The claim that **"the quality of your relationships will determine the quality of your lives"** is strongly supported by psychological and sociological research, as well as by the insights of relationship experts like Esther Perel. High-quality relationships are consistently linked to greater happiness, health, and life satisfaction, while social atrophy and poor relationship quality are associated with negative outcomes such as loneliness, anxiety, and diminished intimacy[2][4]. Therefore, the claim is valid and well-substantiated by current evidence.

Citations

Claim

Many of these people go home and there's nobody there.

Veracity Rating: 4 out of 4

Facts

## Evaluating the Claim: "Many of these people go home and there's nobody there."

The claim highlights issues of loneliness and isolation, which are increasingly relevant in discussions about mental health and social behavior. This phenomenon can be linked to broader societal trends and the impact of technology on human interaction.

### Contextual Background

Esther Perel, a renowned relationship expert, discusses the concept of "social atrophy," which refers to the decline in face-to-face interactions and the erosion of social skills due to increased reliance on digital communication[1][3]. This trend contributes to feelings of loneliness and isolation, as people spend more time alone at home, often without meaningful social connections[3].

### Relevance to Mental Health and Social Behavior

1. **Loneliness and Isolation**: Studies have shown that loneliness can have severe negative impacts on mental health, including increased risk of depression, anxiety, and cognitive decline. The rise in social atrophy exacerbates these issues by reducing opportunities for face-to-face interactions, which are crucial for emotional well-being[5].

2. **Impact of Technology**: The proliferation of digital communication tools, such as dating apps and social media, has altered the way people interact. While these platforms provide connectivity, they often fail to replace the depth and intimacy of in-person relationships, leading to a sense of disconnection[3].

3. **Evolving Relationship Dynamics**: Perel emphasizes the importance of fostering deeper connections through real-life interactions and emotional availability. This is particularly relevant in romantic relationships, where ongoing engagement and novelty are essential for maintaining intimacy[3].

### Conclusion

The claim that "many of these people go home and there's nobody there" is supported by the broader context of social atrophy and its effects on loneliness and isolation. The decline in face-to-face interactions and the rise of digital communication contribute to this phenomenon, highlighting the need for a reassessment of how we connect with others in a technology-dominated age.

### Evidence and References

– **Social Atrophy and Loneliness**: Esther Perel's discussions on social atrophy and its impact on relationships and loneliness provide a framework for understanding the claim[1][3].
– **Impact of Technology**: Research on the effects of digital communication on social skills and intimacy supports the notion that technology can exacerbate feelings of isolation[3].
– **Mental Health Implications**: Studies on loneliness and mental health underscore the importance of addressing social isolation to improve overall well-being.

While specific academic references are not provided in the search results, the discussion aligns with broader research on loneliness, social isolation, and the impact of technology on human relationships.

### Future Research Directions

1. **Quantitative Studies**: Conducting quantitative studies to measure the prevalence of loneliness and isolation among different demographics could provide more concrete evidence.
2. **Intervention Strategies**: Developing and evaluating interventions aimed at enhancing face-to-face interactions and community engagement could help mitigate the effects of social atrophy.

In conclusion, the claim is supported by the context of social atrophy and its implications for loneliness and isolation, emphasizing the need for deeper, more meaningful connections in a digitally driven world.

Citations

Claim

The world is filled with people who want to give a better life to their family and to their children.

Veracity Rating: 3 out of 4

Facts

## Evaluating the Claim: "The world is filled with people who want to give a better life to their family and to their children."

The claim reflects a generalized belief about human motivation and familial commitment. To evaluate its validity, we need to consider sociological research and evidence related to family dynamics and parental aspirations.

### Sociological Perspectives

1. **Parental Investment Theory**: This theory suggests that parents generally invest in their children to ensure their survival and success, which aligns with the idea that people want to provide a better life for their families. However, this theory primarily focuses on biological and evolutionary aspects rather than social or emotional motivations.

2. **Social and Emotional Motivations**: Research in sociology and psychology indicates that many people are motivated by a desire to provide for their families and improve their children's lives. This motivation is often driven by emotional and social factors, such as love, responsibility, and a sense of duty.

3. **Cultural and Economic Factors**: The ability to provide a better life for one's family can be influenced by cultural norms, economic conditions, and access to resources. In many societies, providing for one's family is seen as a key aspect of personal fulfillment and social status.

### Challenges and Variations

– **Social Atrophy and Isolation**: As noted by Esther Perel, social atrophy and increased isolation can affect family dynamics and relationships. This trend might influence how people perceive and achieve their goals of providing a better life for their families[1][2].

– **Economic and Environmental Pressures**: Economic instability, environmental challenges, and societal changes can impact individuals' ability to provide for their families. These factors can vary widely across different regions and communities.

### Conclusion

The claim that "the world is filled with people who want to give a better life to their family and to their children" is generally supported by sociological and psychological research. However, it is crucial to recognize that this desire is influenced by a complex array of factors, including cultural norms, economic conditions, and personal circumstances. While many people aspire to improve their families' lives, the ability to achieve this goal can be significantly affected by broader societal trends and challenges.

## References

[1] Esther Perel. *Letters from Esther #50: Could it really be that easy to resolve conflict?*
[2] Sarah Stein Lubrano. *Be Kind, Everyone is Fighting a Social Atrophy You Know Nothing …*
[3] *Why Dating Feels Like The Lonely Heart's Club, With Esther Perel.*
[4] Esther Perel. *Letters from Esther #22: Small Talk.*
[5] Elise Loehnen. *Esther Perel: Conflict as Tool for Connection.*
*Parental Investment Theory.*
*Social and Emotional Motivations in Parenting.*
*Cultural and Economic Factors in Family Dynamics.*
*Economic and Environmental Pressures on Families.*

**Note:** Specific references , , , and are not directly cited from the search results but are based on general knowledge and would typically be supported by academic literature in sociology and psychology.

Citations

Claim

We give meaning to everything. We are meaning making machines.

Veracity Rating: 4 out of 4

Facts

The claim that “We give meaning to everything. We are meaning making machines” is well-supported by established theories in psychology and philosophy, and it is highly relevant to the broader discussion of human connection and social dynamics, as highlighted in conversations with Esther Perel and related commentary on social atrophy.

## Psychological and Philosophical Foundations

**Meaning-Making in Human Cognition**

– **Constructivist Perspective:** In psychology, constructivist theories posit that humans actively construct meaning from their experiences. This process is fundamental to how we interpret the world, form relationships, and navigate social interactions. The idea that we are “meaning making machines” aligns with this view, as it suggests that meaning is not inherent in objects or events but is created by individuals through cognitive and emotional processes.
– **Philosophical Underpinnings:** Existentialist and phenomenological philosophers, such as Jean-Paul Sartre and Martin Heidegger, argue that humans are condemned to create meaning in a world that is inherently meaningless. This philosophical stance supports the notion that meaning is not given but is actively constructed by individuals.

## Relevance to Social Dynamics and Relationships

**Social Atrophy and Meaning-Making**

– **Esther Perel’s Observations:** Perel identifies “social atrophy” as a critical concern, noting that reduced face-to-face interactions and increased digital communication have weakened social skills and made genuine connections harder to achieve[1][3][5]. This context is important because it highlights how the decline in meaningful social engagement affects our ability to construct and sustain meaningful relationships.
– **Impact on Intimacy and Connection:** The “sexual recession” among younger generations, as discussed by Perel, is partly attributed to diminished social skills and over-reliance on technology. This underscores the importance of active meaning-making in relationships—where emotional connection, novelty, and ongoing engagement are essential for maintaining attraction and intimacy[3][5].

## Scientific and Academic Support

**Empirical Evidence**

– **Cognitive Psychology:** Research in cognitive psychology demonstrates that humans are predisposed to seek patterns, assign causality, and create narratives to make sense of their environment. This process is automatic and pervasive, supporting the claim that we are “meaning making machines.”
– **Social Psychology:** Studies on social cognition show that individuals interpret social cues and construct meaning from interactions, which shapes their perceptions and behaviors in relationships.

## Synthesis and Conclusion

The claim that “We give meaning to everything. We are meaning making machines” is strongly supported by psychological and philosophical theories. Humans are inherently driven to construct meaning from their experiences, relationships, and social interactions. This process is essential for navigating the complexities of modern life, especially in an era marked by social atrophy and digital communication. The insights from Esther Perel and related commentary further illustrate how the decline in meaningful social engagement challenges our ability to create and sustain deep connections, reinforcing the importance of active meaning-making in both personal and societal contexts[1][3][5].

**In summary:**
The claim is valid and well-grounded in scientific and philosophical literature. Humans are indeed meaning-making beings, and this capacity is central to our psychological functioning and social well-being. The current challenges of social atrophy and digital communication highlight the ongoing need for active engagement in meaning-making to foster genuine connections and maintain healthy relationships.

Citations

Claim

There is a lingo around anxiety, stress, and burnout that did not exist 40 years ago.

Veracity Rating: 4 out of 4

Facts

The claim that there is a lingo around anxiety, stress, and burnout that did not exist 40 years ago is accurate and supported by historical and psychological literature.

## Evolution of Terminology Around Burnout and Stress

– The term **"burnout"** in a clinical and psychological sense was first introduced in the early 1970s by Herbert Freudenberger, an American psychologist, who used it to describe emotional exhaustion and reduced productivity among health professionals[1][2]. Prior to this, related conditions were described with different terms such as *neurasthenia* or *psychophysiologic nervous system reaction* in the 1960s, which referred to symptoms like chronic weakness and fatigue but did not use the term "burnout"[2][4].

– The concept of burnout evolved through the decades, gaining recognition as a distinct mental health condition characterized by emotional exhaustion, cynicism, and inefficacy. The Maslach Burnout Inventory (MBI), developed in the 1990s, formalized the assessment of burnout, and by the 2010s, burnout was recognized by the World Health Organization as an occupational phenomenon[5].

– Similarly, terms related to **anxiety and stress** have also evolved. While anxiety as a concept has existed for centuries, the specific clinical definitions, diagnostic criteria, and nuanced language around different types of anxiety disorders have developed significantly over the past 40 years, especially with successive editions of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). For example, the DSM-II in 1968 used terms like *neurasthenic neurosis*, but later editions refined and expanded the terminology and understanding of anxiety disorders[2].

## Summary

The language and terminology around mental health issues such as anxiety, stress, and burnout have indeed changed and expanded over the last four decades. New terms like "burnout" emerged in the 1970s, and the conceptual frameworks and diagnostic language have evolved to better capture the complexity of these conditions. This reflects broader socio-cultural and scientific developments in understanding mental health.

Thus, the claim that there is a lingo around anxiety, stress, and burnout that did not exist 40 years ago is well-founded based on historical linguistic and psychological evidence[1][2][3][4][5].

Citations

Claim

The trauma is often in the experience of the event without an empathic witness.

Veracity Rating: 4 out of 4

Facts

## Evaluating the Claim: "The trauma is often in the experience of the event without an empathic witness."

The claim that trauma is often exacerbated by the lack of an empathic witness during the traumatic event touches on a crucial aspect of psychological trauma: the role of social support and validation in processing traumatic experiences. This concept is supported by various psychological studies and theories.

### Psychological Understanding of Trauma

Trauma is generally understood as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience that can have lasting effects on an individual's mental health. The impact of trauma can be influenced by several factors, including the nature of the event, individual resilience, and the presence of supportive relationships.

### Role of Social Support

Social support, including the presence of empathic witnesses or supportive figures, plays a significant role in mitigating the effects of trauma. Empathic witnesses can provide validation, comfort, and a sense of safety, which are crucial for processing traumatic experiences. The absence of such support can exacerbate feelings of isolation and intensify the traumatic impact.

### Theoretical Frameworks

1. **Social Support Theory**: This theory posits that having supportive relationships can buffer the effects of stress and trauma by providing emotional, informational, and practical support. The presence of empathic witnesses can enhance this support network.

2. **Trauma-Informed Care**: This approach emphasizes understanding the impact of trauma on individuals and communities. It highlights the importance of creating safe, supportive environments that acknowledge the trauma experience and provide empathic responses[5].

3. **Attachment Theory**: This theory suggests that early attachment experiences influence how individuals respond to stress and trauma later in life. A secure attachment style, often fostered by empathic caregivers, can enhance resilience to trauma.

### Esther Perel's Insights on Connection

While Esther Perel's work primarily focuses on relationships and social connections rather than trauma specifically, her insights on the importance of genuine human interaction and emotional availability are relevant. She emphasizes that meaningful connections are essential for personal well-being and that a lack of such connections can lead to feelings of isolation and disconnection[3]. This perspective aligns with the idea that empathic witnesses can provide critical support during traumatic experiences.

### Conclusion

The claim that trauma is often exacerbated by the lack of an empathic witness is supported by psychological theories and studies on trauma and social support. Empathic witnesses can provide validation and support, which are crucial for mitigating the effects of traumatic experiences. Therefore, the claim is valid and highlights the importance of social support in the context of trauma.

—

References:
– [5] Background Materials – Eastern District of New York
– Social Support Theory (General Reference)
– Attachment Theory (General Reference)

Note: Specific references for Social Support Theory and Attachment Theory are not provided in the search results but are well-established concepts in psychology.

Citations

Claim

Resilience is not just a set of traits that exists inside of you.

Veracity Rating: 4 out of 4

Facts

The claim that "Resilience is not just a set of traits that exists inside of you" is well-supported by contemporary psychological research and expert commentary, including insights from relationship expert Esther Perel and broader discussions on social dynamics.

## Evidence Supporting the Claim

**1. Resilience as a Social and Contextual Phenomenon**

Modern psychological theories increasingly recognize resilience as a dynamic process shaped by both individual traits and external, social factors. While early research often focused on personal characteristics such as optimism, adaptability, and self-efficacy, current perspectives emphasize the importance of social support, community resources, and relational networks in fostering resilience[2][5]. This aligns with the claim’s implication that resilience is not solely an internal trait but is also cultivated through interactions and relationships.

**2. The Role of Social Atrophy and Collective Resilience**

Esther Perel and other commentators highlight "social atrophy"—the weakening of social skills and connections due to reduced face-to-face interaction and increased digital communication—as a significant challenge to individual and collective well-being[2][3][4]. Social atrophy undermines the social fabric that supports resilience, making individuals and communities more vulnerable to stress and less capable of coping with adversity[2]. This phenomenon is not just about individual deficits but about the erosion of communal structures and shared experiences that historically provided support and meaning.

**3. Research on Collective and Relational Resilience**

Empirical studies support the idea that resilience is bolstered by strong social networks and community engagement. For example, research shows that communities with robust social ties recover more effectively from crises, and individuals with supportive relationships exhibit greater psychological resilience[2]. The decline in communal belonging and the transfer of existential needs (such as identity and meaning) to intimate relationships or workplaces further underscores the importance of broader social contexts in shaping resilience[3].

**4. Practical Implications in Relationships and Society**

Perel’s discussions about the evolving expectations in romantic relationships—where partners are now expected to fulfill a wide range of emotional, social, and existential needs—reflect the broader trend of seeking resilience through connection rather than in isolation[3]. She argues that maintaining attraction and intimacy in long-term relationships requires ongoing engagement, novelty, and emotional availability, all of which are relational and contextual rather than purely individual traits[3][5].

## Summary Table: Individual vs. Social/Contextual Resilience

## Conclusion

The claim that "Resilience is not just a set of traits that exists inside of you" is strongly supported by current psychological theory and expert commentary. Resilience is increasingly understood as a dynamic interplay between individual characteristics and social contexts, with social support, community engagement, and relational networks playing critical roles in fostering well-being and adaptability[2][3][5]. The phenomenon of social atrophy and its impact on relationships and society further underscores the importance of this broader, contextual view of resilience.

Citations

Claim

The workplace is in massive flux and is becoming no longer just about soft skills; it's becoming the new bottom line.

Veracity Rating: 3 out of 4

Facts

## Evaluating the Claim: The Workplace is in Massive Flux and is Becoming No Longer Just About Soft Skills; It's Becoming the New Bottom Line

The claim that the workplace is undergoing significant changes and that soft skills are becoming a critical component of success can be assessed through economic and sociological studies. Here's a detailed evaluation of this assertion:

### Economic Perspective

1. **Shift in Skill Demand**: The World Economic Forum's Future of Jobs Report highlights that by 2030, 39% of workers' core skills are expected to change, indicating a significant shift in what employers value[2]. This shift includes a growing emphasis on skills that are traditionally considered "soft," such as collaboration, creativity, and leadership[4].

2. **Importance of Human Skills**: The demand for human skills like analytical thinking, innovation, and complex problem-solving is on the rise, as these are areas where machines have limitations[4]. This underscores the increasing importance of skills that are not easily replicable by technology.

3. **Market for Human Skills Training**: The global market for human skills training is projected to reach USD 47.16 billion by 2027, reflecting a growing recognition of the value of these skills in the workforce[4].

### Sociological Perspective

1. **Workplace Communication and Collaboration**: Studies show that effective communication and collaboration are crucial for workplace success. For instance, 86% of employees and executives attribute workplace failures to a lack of effective collaboration and communication[1]. This highlights the sociological aspect of workplace dynamics, where interpersonal skills are essential for achieving organizational goals.

2. **Soft Skills as Essential Competencies**: Hiring managers now consider soft skills as equally or more important than technical expertise, emphasizing their role in driving innovation and fostering strong relationships[5]. This shift reflects a broader sociological trend where interpersonal skills are recognized as vital for navigating complex and diverse workplaces.

3. **Impact of Technology on Social Skills**: The rise of digital communication has led to concerns about "social atrophy," where diminished face-to-face interactions weaken social skills. While this is more commonly discussed in the context of personal relationships, it also has implications for workplace dynamics, where genuine connections and effective communication are critical.

### Conclusion

The claim that the workplace is in massive flux and that soft skills are becoming the new bottom line is supported by both economic and sociological evidence. The increasing demand for skills like collaboration, creativity, and leadership, alongside the growing market for human skills training, underscores the economic importance of these competencies[4][5]. Sociologically, the emphasis on effective communication and collaboration in the workplace, combined with the challenges posed by digital communication, highlights the critical role of soft skills in achieving organizational success and fostering positive workplace cultures[1][5].

In summary, while the claim might be somewhat hyperbolic in suggesting that soft skills are the "new bottom line," it accurately reflects the significant shift in the value placed on these skills in the evolving workplace landscape.

Citations

Claim

Trust in a work context means I can rely on my team and my manager.

Veracity Rating: 4 out of 4

Facts

## Evaluating the Claim: "Trust in a work context means I can rely on my team and my manager."

The claim that trust in a work context means being able to rely on one's team and manager is supported by various definitions and research in organizational psychology. Here's a detailed evaluation based on reliable sources:

### Definition of Trust in the Workplace

Trust in the workplace is generally understood as the confidence that team members and leaders will act reliably and not exploit others for personal gain. This definition aligns with the idea that trust involves a positive expectation about others' behavior, based on past experiences and interactions[2][4].

### Reliability and Trust

The essence of trust in a workplace environment is that everyone can rely on each other to fulfill their commitments and act in a manner that supports the team and organization[4]. This includes trusting that colleagues will perform their tasks correctly and that managers will lead effectively and make decisions that benefit the team[1][3].

### Importance of Trust

Trust is crucial for effective teamwork and organizational success. It fosters an environment where employees feel valued, collaborate more effectively, and are more likely to engage in ethical behavior[5]. High-trust organizations tend to have stronger frameworks and more cohesive cultures, which are essential for innovation and growth[5].

### Evidence Supporting the Claim

1. **Reliability and Dependability**: Trust allows team members to rely on each other to complete tasks and meet expectations, which is fundamental for achieving organizational goals[4].
2. **Managerial Trust**: Trust in managers is vital as it influences how employees perceive leadership decisions and their willingness to follow those decisions[1][3].
3. **Organizational Performance**: High levels of trust within an organization lead to better collaboration, transparency, and overall performance[5].

### Conclusion

The claim that trust in a work context means being able to rely on one's team and manager is valid and supported by research in organizational psychology. Trust is essential for building strong working relationships, ensuring reliability, and fostering a positive organizational culture. It is a cornerstone of successful organizations, enabling collaboration, ethical behavior, and innovation[1][3][5].

Citations

Claim

There are four major relational pillars that sustain the quality of relationships in the workplace: trust, belonging, recognition, and collective resilience.

Veracity Rating: 2 out of 4

Facts

## Evaluating the Claim: Four Major Relational Pillars in the Workplace

The claim posits that there are four major relational pillars—**trust**, **belonging**, **recognition**, and **collective resilience**—that sustain the quality of relationships in the workplace. To evaluate this claim, we need to examine existing research on workplace relationships and their key components.

### 1. **Trust**
Trust is widely recognized as a foundational element in workplace relationships. It fosters a sense of security and reliability among colleagues and between employees and management, which is crucial for effective collaboration and communication[5]. Trust is often linked to job satisfaction and organizational commitment[5].

### 2. **Belonging**
A sense of belonging is another critical aspect of workplace relationships. It contributes to employee motivation, job satisfaction, and overall well-being[2][4]. When employees feel they belong, they are more likely to be engaged and committed to their organization[2].

### 3. **Recognition**
While recognition is not explicitly listed as a relational pillar in most academic literature, it is an important factor in maintaining positive workplace relationships. Recognition can enhance employee satisfaction and motivation by acknowledging their contributions and efforts[3]. However, it is more commonly associated with performance management rather than a core relational pillar.

### 4. **Collective Resilience**
Collective resilience refers to the ability of a team or organization to cope with challenges and stressors together. While resilience is crucial for team performance and well-being, it is not typically framed as a relational pillar in the same way as trust or belonging. Instead, it is often seen as an outcome of strong relationships and effective teamwork[4].

### Conclusion
While **trust** and **belonging** are well-supported as essential components of healthy workplace relationships, **recognition** and **collective resilience** are important but not typically categorized as core relational pillars in the same context. Recognition is more about performance feedback, and collective resilience is an outcome of strong relationships rather than a foundational element. Therefore, the claim partially aligns with existing research but may require refinement to accurately reflect the most commonly recognized pillars of workplace relationships.

### Evidence and References
– **Trust** and **belonging** are consistently highlighted in research as critical for workplace relationships[2][4][5].
– **Recognition** is important for employee satisfaction but is not typically framed as a core relational pillar[3].
– **Collective resilience** is an outcome of strong relationships rather than a foundational element[4].

In summary, while the claim touches on important aspects of workplace dynamics, it may benefit from a more nuanced understanding of how these elements interplay to sustain quality relationships in the workplace.

Citations

Claim

Empathy shown to one's experience can allow permission to feel in ways that were previously unacknowledged.

Veracity Rating: 4 out of 4

Facts

## Evaluating the Claim: Empathy and Permission to Feel

The claim that empathy shown to one's experience can allow permission to feel in ways that were previously unacknowledged is supported by therapeutic literature on the role of empathy in emotional healing. Here's a detailed evaluation of this claim:

### Empathy in Emotional Healing

Empathy is recognized as a cornerstone of effective psychotherapy, playing a crucial role in establishing trust, facilitating emotional healing, and enhancing self-understanding[1][3][5]. By creating a safe and non-judgmental space, therapists help clients feel understood and validated, which encourages them to express emotions they may have previously suppressed[5].

### Permission to Feel

Empathy allows clients to feel validated and understood, which can give them permission to explore and acknowledge emotions they may have previously avoided or suppressed. This process is facilitated by the therapist's empathetic responses, which validate the client's emotional experiences and promote a sense of normalization of their feelings[5]. When individuals feel genuinely understood, they are more likely to open up and engage in the therapeutic process, leading to improved emotional regulation and self-awareness[1][3].

### Therapeutic Literature Support

Heinz Kohut, a pioneer of self-psychology, emphasized the importance of empathy in fostering patient autonomy and partnership in therapy. He believed that emotional congruence (empathy) complements interpretation, guiding patients toward greater self-awareness and emotional growth[1]. This perspective supports the idea that empathy can empower individuals to explore and acknowledge previously unacknowledged feelings.

### Conclusion

The claim that empathy allows permission to feel in ways that were previously unacknowledged is supported by the therapeutic literature. Empathy creates a safe space for emotional expression, validates experiences, and fosters self-awareness, all of which are crucial for emotional healing and personal growth[1][3][5]. Therefore, the claim is valid and grounded in established therapeutic practices.

In the context of Esther Perel's discussion on human connection and relationships, empathy plays a vital role in fostering deeper emotional connections and understanding within relationships. This aligns with the broader therapeutic perspective that empathy is essential for emotional healing and growth.

Citations

Claim

Married couples in the UK and the United States report a steady decline in sexual frequency since the early 2000s.

Veracity Rating: 3 out of 4

Facts

## Evaluating the Claim: Decline in Sexual Frequency Among Married Couples in the UK and the US

The claim that married couples in the UK and the US have experienced a steady decline in sexual frequency since the early 2000s can be evaluated using data from recent studies.

### UK Evidence

2. **Specific Data**: The median number of occasions of sex in the past month decreased from four in earlier surveys to three in the most recent one among women, with similar trends observed in men[3]. Additionally, fewer than half of men and women aged 16-44 reported having sex at least once a week[1].

3. **Factors Contributing to Decline**: The study suggests that factors such as the busyness of modern life, better physical and mental health, employment status, and higher earnings influence sexual frequency[5].

### US Evidence

While specific studies on the US are not detailed in the provided sources, general trends observed in high-income countries suggest similar patterns. The discussion with Esther Perel highlights broader societal changes, such as increased reliance on digital communication and decreased face-to-face interaction, which may contribute to reduced intimacy and sexual frequency across generations[Perel's discussion].

### Conclusion

The claim is supported for the UK, where there is clear evidence of a decline in sexual frequency among married couples since the early 2000s. For the US, while direct evidence is not provided, similar societal trends and changes in communication patterns suggest that a decline might also be occurring. However, more specific US data would be needed to conclusively support the claim for that region.

## Recommendations for Further Research

– **US-Specific Studies**: Conducting or referencing studies specifically focused on the US would strengthen the claim.
– **Societal Trends**: Investigating how societal changes, such as increased digital communication, affect sexual frequency in both countries.
– **Longitudinal Data**: Collecting longitudinal data to track changes over time would provide more robust evidence of trends in sexual frequency.

Citations

Claim

Social atrophy is directly connected to what is often called a sexual recession.

Veracity Rating: 2 out of 4

Facts

To evaluate the claim that “social atrophy is directly connected to what is often called a sexual recession,” it is essential to analyze both the definitions and the evidence linking these phenomena, as well as the insights provided by relationship expert Esther Perel.

## Definitions and Context

– **Social Atrophy:** This refers to the weakening or deterioration of social skills and the capacity for meaningful face-to-face interactions, often attributed to increased digital communication and reduced shared physical spaces[1][4][5].
– **Sexual Recession:** This term describes a documented decline in sexual activity among younger generations, particularly millennials and Gen Z, as reported in various surveys and studies.

## Evidence Linking Social Atrophy and Sexual Recession

**Esther Perel’s Perspective**

Esther Perel highlights that social atrophy—marked by full schedules, fewer shared spaces, and diminished face-to-face interactions—has made genuine connections harder to achieve[1][4][5]. She notes that as communal structures and traditional social institutions wane, individuals increasingly look to intimate relationships to fulfill existential needs such as belonging, identity, and meaning[3]. This places greater pressure on romantic partnerships, which are now expected to provide not just companionship and support, but also personal growth and fulfillment.

Perel observes that the decline in social skills and the rise of digital communication have led to a situation where people struggle to form and maintain deep, meaningful connections, both socially and romantically[3][5]. This, in turn, can contribute to a “sexual recession,” as diminished social skills and reliance on dating apps make it harder to establish and sustain intimacy[3].

**Scientific and Academic Context**

While Perel’s insights are widely respected and align with broader social commentary, direct scientific evidence linking social atrophy to sexual recession is more nuanced:

– **Social Skills and Intimacy:** Research in psychology and sociology supports the idea that strong social skills are foundational for forming and maintaining intimate relationships. Poor social skills can lead to difficulties in initiating and sustaining romantic and sexual relationships.
– **Digital Communication:** Studies have shown that excessive reliance on digital communication can reduce face-to-face interaction skills, potentially impacting the ability to form deep emotional and physical connections.
– **Sexual Recession Data:** Surveys, such as those by the General Social Survey (GSS) and other organizations, have documented a decline in sexual activity among younger adults. While multiple factors contribute to this trend—including economic stress, mental health issues, and changing social norms—the erosion of social skills and community structures is recognized as a contributing factor.

## Limitations and Nuances

– **Correlation vs. Causation:** While there is a correlation between social atrophy and reduced sexual activity, causation is complex and multifactorial. Other significant contributors include economic instability, mental health challenges, and shifting cultural attitudes toward sex and relationships.
– **Perel’s Narrative vs. Empirical Evidence:** Perel’s analysis is largely narrative and observational, drawing on her clinical experience and social commentary. While her insights are valuable, they are not a substitute for large-scale empirical studies.

## Conclusion

The claim that “social atrophy is directly connected to what is often called a sexual recession” is supported by credible social commentary and aligns with broader trends in psychology and sociology. Esther Perel’s observations about the decline in social skills, the rise of digital communication, and the resulting challenges in forming intimate connections provide a compelling framework for understanding the sexual recession[1][3][5]. However, direct scientific evidence establishing a causal link is limited, and the phenomenon is influenced by a range of interrelated factors. Therefore, while the connection is plausible and well-argued by experts like Perel, it should be understood as part of a broader, multifaceted social dynamic.

Citations

Claim

The majority of men who come to sex therapy today for erectile dysfunctions are young men in their 20s, not old men after prostate issues.

Veracity Rating: 2 out of 4

Facts

## Evaluating the Claim: Young Men in Their 20s as the Majority in Sex Therapy for Erectile Dysfunction

The claim that the majority of men seeking sex therapy for erectile dysfunction (ED) are young men in their 20s, rather than older men post-prostate issues, requires scrutiny. While there is evidence suggesting an increase in ED among younger men, the assertion that they form the majority of those seeking therapy is less clear.

### Prevalence of Erectile Dysfunction by Age

– **General Trends**: Erectile dysfunction is more common among older men. Studies indicate that ED affects approximately 40% of men by their 40s, with the prevalence increasing by about 10% for each subsequent decade of life[2]. This suggests that older men are more likely to experience ED due to age-related factors.

– **Younger Men**: However, there is evidence that younger men are experiencing ED at higher rates than previously thought. For instance, one study found that about 11% of sexually active men aged 18 to 31 reported mild ED, while almost 3% experienced moderate-to-severe ED[2][4]. Another study noted that more than a third of young military men under 40 experience ED[2].

### Shift in Demographics

– **Potential Causes**: The rise in ED among younger men could be attributed to various factors, including psychological issues, lifestyle factors, and the impact of modern societal trends such as increased stress and decreased face-to-face interactions[5]. Esther Perel's discussion on 'social atrophy' and the 'sexual recession' highlights how these trends might affect sexual health and relationships.

– **Seeking Therapy**: While there is an increase in ED among younger men, there is limited specific data indicating that they form the majority of those seeking sex therapy for this condition. The claim might reflect a perceived shift rather than a documented demographic change in therapy seekers.

### Conclusion

The claim that young men in their 20s form the majority of those seeking sex therapy for ED lacks concrete evidence. While younger men are experiencing ED at higher rates, older men still represent a significant portion of those affected by ED due to age-related factors. Further research is needed to understand the demographics of individuals seeking therapy for ED and to explore the underlying causes of this trend.

## Recommendations for Further Investigation

1. **Demographic Analysis**: Conduct studies to specifically analyze the age demographics of men seeking sex therapy for ED.
2. **Causal Factors**: Investigate the psychological, lifestyle, and societal factors contributing to ED in younger men.
3. **Therapy Engagement**: Examine why younger men might be more inclined to seek therapy compared to older generations.

By addressing these areas, researchers can better understand the evolving landscape of ED and its treatment among different age groups.

Citations

Claim

The statistics show that married couples in the UK and US report a steady decline in sexual frequency since the introduction of the internet.

Veracity Rating: 2 out of 4

Facts

## Evaluating the Claim: Decline in Sexual Frequency Among Married Couples in the UK and US Since the Introduction of the Internet

The claim suggests that married couples in the UK and US have experienced a steady decline in sexual frequency since the advent of the internet. To assess this assertion, we will examine available data and research findings related to sexual frequency trends among married couples in these regions.

### UK Trends

1. **Decline in Sexual Frequency**: Research from the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine, published in the BMJ, indicates a decline in sexual frequency in Britain between 2001 and 2012. This decline was most pronounced among individuals over 25 and those in married or cohabiting relationships[1][4][5]. The median number of times people had sex per month decreased from four to three times among women, and remained at three times among men[4].

2. **Impact of Modern Life**: The study attributes the decline to factors such as the busyness of modern life, which could include increased use of technology and digital communication[5].

### US Trends

While specific data on the impact of the internet on sexual frequency among married couples in the US is not directly cited in the provided sources, general trends suggest that technological advancements and societal changes can influence sexual behavior. Esther Perel's observations highlight how digital communication and social atrophy can affect intimacy and sexual frequency, particularly among younger generations[Summary].

### Conclusion

The claim that married couples in the UK and US have experienced a decline in sexual frequency since the introduction of the internet is partially supported by UK data. In the UK, there has been a documented decline in sexual frequency, particularly among married or cohabiting couples and those over 25[1][4][5]. However, direct evidence linking this decline specifically to the internet is not explicitly stated in the available sources. The impact of technology on relationships, as discussed by Esther Perel, suggests that broader societal and technological changes can contribute to reduced intimacy and sexual frequency.

### Recommendations for Further Research

– **Direct Causality**: Investigate whether there is a direct causal link between the rise of the internet and the decline in sexual frequency among married couples.
– **US Data**: Collect and analyze specific data on trends in sexual frequency among married couples in the US to compare with UK findings.
– **Technological Impact**: Conduct studies to understand how digital communication and social media specifically influence sexual behavior and intimacy in long-term relationships.

Citations

Claim

Women get bored with monogamy much sooner than men.

Veracity Rating: 2 out of 4

Facts

To evaluate the claim that **"women get bored with monogamy much sooner than men,"** it is essential to review the available psychological and sociological research on gender differences in relationship satisfaction, sexual boredom, and monogamy.

## Evidence from Psychological and Sociological Research

**1. Sexual Boredom and Relationship Satisfaction**

Recent studies indicate that sexual boredom is a significant predictor of lower sexual and relationship satisfaction, especially among women in long-term monogamous relationships. Research published in the *Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy* found that sexual boredom mediates the relationship between sexual desire (for a partner or others) and overall satisfaction. Notably, the study highlights that experiencing desire for non-partners does not necessarily undermine satisfaction unless accompanied by sexual boredom[1]. This suggests that boredom, rather than a lack of desire per se, is a critical factor in relationship dissatisfaction.

**2. Gender Differences in Sexual Boredom and Monogamy**

There is mixed evidence regarding which gender experiences boredom with monogamy sooner:

– **Some research suggests women may experience boredom sooner:** Certain studies and expert commentary indicate that women may lose interest in monogamous sexual routines more quickly than men. For example, Kaela Scott Counselling cites research showing that "women get bored with monogamy sooner than men," with men remaining sexually interested in a partner for a longer time, while women's interest may decline more rapidly[4]. This is sometimes attributed to women craving more novelty and feeling stifled by the predictability of monogamy[5].
– **Other research and expert opinion challenge this:** However, other sources argue that both men and women experience boredom with monogamy, but for different reasons and at different rates. Some newer studies suggest that women may crave more sexual novelty, but this does not necessarily mean they get bored "much sooner" than men. The experience of boredom is influenced by social pressures, relationship dynamics, and individual differences[5].

**3. Expert Perspectives and Contextual Factors**

Relationship experts like Esther Perel emphasize that attraction and satisfaction in long-term relationships depend on ongoing engagement, novelty, and emotional connection. Perel argues against simplistic biological explanations and highlights the importance of story-based, emotional, and interactive elements in maintaining intimacy[1][5]. This perspective suggests that boredom in monogamy is not solely a gender issue but is shaped by how partners invest in their relationship.

## Summary Table: Gender Differences in Monogamy Boredom

## Conclusion

**The claim that "women get bored with monogamy much sooner than men" is partially supported by some research and expert commentary, but it is not universally accepted or consistently demonstrated in the scientific literature.** While certain studies and therapists report that women may experience boredom with monogamous routines more quickly or more intensely, other research and experts emphasize that both genders can experience boredom, often for different reasons and at different rates[4][5]. The key factor in relationship dissatisfaction appears to be sexual boredom itself, rather than a simple gender difference[1][2].

Therefore, the claim should be considered **partially true but overly simplistic**, as it does not account for the complexity of individual and relational factors that influence boredom and satisfaction in monogamous relationships.

Citations

Claim

To remain engaged, women need more engaging and interesting experiences in relationships.

Veracity Rating: 3 out of 4

Facts

To evaluate the claim that "to remain engaged, women need more engaging and interesting experiences in relationships," we must consider both the broader context of relationship dynamics and the specific insights from relationship experts such as Esther Perel.

## Analysis of the Claim

**Claim:**
To remain engaged, women need more engaging and interesting experiences in relationships.

**Context:**
The claim is situated within discussions about evolving relationship dynamics, particularly the impact of social atrophy, digital communication, and the need for novelty and emotional connection in maintaining intimacy.

## Evidence and Expert Perspectives

**1. Social Atrophy and Relationship Engagement**

Esther Perel highlights "social atrophy" as a critical issue, noting that reduced face-to-face interactions and increased digital communication have weakened social skills and made genuine connections harder to achieve[2][3][4]. This phenomenon is not gender-specific but affects all individuals, potentially leading to a decline in relationship satisfaction and sexual frequency, especially among younger generations[2][4].

**2. The Role of Novelty and Engagement**

Perel argues that attraction and engagement in long-term relationships depend on ongoing novelty and active investment in the partnership[2][4]. She emphasizes that relationships require more than just biological attraction; they thrive on emotional connection, shared experiences, and a sense of ongoing discovery[2][4]. This perspective is supported by research in relationship science, which shows that novelty and shared activities can enhance relationship satisfaction and longevity.

**3. Gender-Specific Considerations**

While the claim specifically addresses women, Perel’s analysis and most scientific literature focus on relationship dynamics that apply to all genders. However, some studies suggest that women may place a higher value on emotional connection and shared experiences in relationships, which could make novelty and engagement particularly important for female satisfaction[4]. Nevertheless, the need for engaging experiences is broadly relevant to both partners in a relationship.

**4. Scientific Support**

Research in psychology and relationship science supports the idea that novelty and shared positive experiences are key predictors of relationship satisfaction. For example, studies on the "self-expansion model" (Aron & Aron, 1986) suggest that individuals are motivated to seek out new and interesting experiences within their relationships to maintain engagement and satisfaction. This model is not gender-specific but is widely applicable.

## Summary Table

## Conclusion

The claim that "to remain engaged, women need more engaging and interesting experiences in relationships" is largely valid but should be contextualized. While women may particularly value emotional connection and novelty, the need for engaging experiences is a universal factor in maintaining relationship satisfaction and intimacy. Esther Perel’s insights and scientific research both support the idea that ongoing engagement, novelty, and emotional connection are essential for healthy, satisfying relationships, regardless of gender[2][4]. The broader issue of social atrophy further underscores the importance of real-life interactions and shared experiences in fostering genuine connection[2][3][4].

Citations

Claim

Ambiguous loss is when someone is physically present but emotionally or psychologically absent.

Veracity Rating: 2 out of 4

Facts

The claim states: **"Ambiguous loss is when someone is physically present but emotionally or psychologically absent."** This definition is partially correct but incomplete according to established psychological literature.

## Evaluation of the Claim

**Definition and Scope of Ambiguous Loss**

Ambiguous loss is a psychological concept introduced by Pauline Boss in the 1970s to describe losses that are unclear or unresolved, making it difficult for individuals to achieve closure[2][3][4]. The phenomenon is characterized by two main types:

1. **Physical Absence with Psychological Presence:**
– The person is physically missing or gone (e.g., missing persons, divorce, migration), but psychologically still present in the minds of those left behind[4].
2. **Psychological Absence with Physical Presence:**
– The person is physically present but emotionally or psychologically absent (e.g., due to dementia, addiction, traumatic brain injury, or severe mental illness)[2][3][4].

**Validity of the Claim**

The claim accurately describes one of the two recognized types of ambiguous loss—specifically, "psychological absence with physical presence." However, it does not capture the full scope of the concept, which also includes situations where someone is physically absent but psychologically present[2][3][4].

**Supporting Evidence**

– **Psychological Literature:**
– Pauline Boss’s original work and subsequent research clearly define ambiguous loss as encompassing both physical absence with psychological presence and psychological absence with physical presence[2][3][4].
– **Examples:**
– **Psychological Absence with Physical Presence:** A family member with dementia is physically present but no longer emotionally or cognitively accessible[2][3][4].
– **Physical Absence with Psychological Presence:** A loved one who is missing or has left the family is physically gone but remains psychologically present in the minds of those left behind[4].

## Additional Context from Relationship Dynamics

The summary of the conversation with Esther Perel highlights the importance of emotional availability and genuine connection in relationships, which aligns with the broader implications of ambiguous loss. Perel’s discussion of "social atrophy" and the challenges of maintaining intimacy in the digital age underscores the relevance of psychological presence and absence in modern relational dynamics. However, while her insights are valuable for understanding relationship health, they do not specifically address the clinical definition of ambiguous loss.

## Conclusion

**The claim is partially correct but incomplete.**
Ambiguous loss does include the scenario where someone is physically present but emotionally or psychologically absent. However, the full definition also encompasses situations where someone is physically absent but psychologically present. Both types are recognized in psychological literature and are essential for a comprehensive understanding of ambiguous loss[2][3][4].

Citations

Claim

Attraction is a very fluid thing that can change based on context and interaction.

Veracity Rating: 4 out of 4

Facts

## Evaluating the Claim: Attraction is a Fluid Concept Influenced by Context and Interaction

The claim that attraction is a fluid concept influenced by context and interaction is supported by both psychological research and insights from relationship experts like Esther Perel. Here's a detailed analysis of this claim:

### Psychological Research on Attraction

1. **Contextual Influence on Attraction**: Psychological studies have shown that attraction is not fixed and can be influenced by various contextual factors. For instance, the **pratfall effect** suggests that imperfections or flaws can increase attractiveness if they make someone appear more relatable or human. Additionally, the **proximity effect** indicates that physical closeness can enhance attraction.

2. **Interaction and Attraction**: Interaction plays a crucial role in developing attraction. Research on **social exchange theory** suggests that the quality of interactions, including mutual support and positive reinforcement, can significantly influence attraction and relationship satisfaction.

### Esther Perel's Insights on Attraction and Relationships

Esther Perel emphasizes the importance of interaction and emotional connection in maintaining attraction within relationships. She highlights the challenges posed by **social atrophy**, which refers to the decline in face-to-face interactions due to increased reliance on digital communication. This decline can lead to weakened social skills and reduced intimacy, contributing to what she terms a "sexual recession"[2][4].

Perel suggests that attraction in long-term relationships requires ongoing engagement and novelty. She advocates for a narrative approach to understanding relationships, where emotional connection and interaction are central to maintaining intimacy[4]. This perspective aligns with psychological research indicating that active engagement and meaningful interactions are essential for sustaining attraction and relationship satisfaction.

### Conclusion

The claim that attraction is a fluid concept influenced by context and interaction is supported by both psychological research and expert insights. Attraction is not a static trait but is dynamically influenced by various factors, including social context, interaction quality, and emotional connection. As such, maintaining attraction in relationships requires continuous effort and engagement.

## References

While specific references were not provided in the search results, the following general sources support the analysis:

– **Pratfall Effect**: Research on the pratfall effect shows that imperfections can increase attractiveness by making someone appear more human.
– **Proximity Effect**: Studies on the proximity effect demonstrate that physical closeness can enhance attraction.
– **Social Exchange Theory**: This theory explains how the quality of interactions influences attraction and relationship satisfaction.
– **Esther Perel's Work**: Perel's insights on social atrophy and the importance of emotional connection in relationships highlight the fluid nature of attraction.

For a more detailed analysis, consulting academic journals and books on social psychology and relationship dynamics would be beneficial.

Citations

Claim

If a relationship becomes monotonous, it contributes to dissatisfaction and a lack of attraction.

Veracity Rating: 4 out of 4

Facts

## Evaluating the Claim: Relationship Monotony and Dissatisfaction

The claim that monotony in a relationship contributes to dissatisfaction and a lack of attraction is supported by various studies and expert insights. Here's a detailed evaluation of this assertion based on available evidence:

### Relationship Monotony and Satisfaction

1. **Sexual Boredom and Relationship Satisfaction**: Research indicates that sexual boredom plays a significant role in both sexual and relationship satisfaction. A study highlighted that about one-third of how satisfied someone feels with their sex life and over a quarter of how happy they feel in their relationship can be linked to this boredom[1]. This suggests that monotony, particularly in the sexual aspect of a relationship, can lead to dissatisfaction.

2. **Monotony and Desire**: Monotony can dampen sexual desire, which is a critical component of relationship satisfaction. When partners become overly familiar, it can lead to a decrease in sexual interest, contributing to relationship dissatisfaction[4].

3. **Evolution of Love**: In long-term relationships, the initial passionate love often gives way to compassionate love, which is characterized by commitment, trust, and affection. However, this transition can sometimes be misinterpreted as a loss of excitement or monotony[3]. The strongest relationships balance both types of love, maintaining intimacy and excitement.

### Attraction and Engagement

1. **Ongoing Engagement and Novelty**: Esther Perel emphasizes the importance of ongoing engagement and novelty in maintaining attraction within long-term relationships. This suggests that monotony can undermine attraction by failing to provide the necessary emotional and interactive stimulation.

2. **Social and Emotional Connection**: Perel also highlights the role of social skills and emotional availability in fostering deeper connections. The decline in face-to-face interactions due to increased digital communication can lead to social atrophy, making genuine connections harder to achieve and potentially contributing to relationship monotony.

3. **Mismatched Interests and Communication**: When partners have different interests or fail to engage in meaningful conversations, it can lead to a sense of disconnection and monotony, further affecting relationship satisfaction[3][4].

### Conclusion

The claim that relationship monotony contributes to dissatisfaction and a lack of attraction is supported by evidence from relationship dynamics, sexual satisfaction, and the importance of ongoing engagement and novelty. Monotony can lead to decreased sexual desire and satisfaction, and it undermines the emotional connection necessary for maintaining attraction in long-term relationships. Therefore, the claim is valid and aligns with current research and expert insights.

—

**References:**

– [1] PsyPost: Sexual boredom outweighs desire in predicting women's relationship satisfaction.
– [2] Psychology Today: 16 Key Factors Associated with Sexual Boredom.
– [3] Verywell Mind: Signs of a Boring Relationship and What to Do About It.
– [4] Medical News Today: Mismatched sex drives: Relationships and coping.
– [5] PsyPost: New study identifies distinct patterns of sexual boredom and sexual desire among individuals in long-term relationships.
– Conversation with Esther Perel (as described in the query).

Citations

Claim

The intimacy in our relationship has died and it died so long ago that I think part of me doesn't feel like I can revive it anymore.

Veracity Rating: 3 out of 4

Facts

## Evaluating the Claim: "The intimacy in our relationship has died and it died so long ago that I think part of me doesn't feel like I can revive it anymore."

The claim reflects a common emotional state experienced by many individuals in long-term relationships, where the feeling of lost intimacy can be overwhelming. To evaluate this claim, we need to consider the broader context of relationship dynamics, societal trends, and expert insights, particularly from renowned relationship therapists like Esther Perel.

### Social Atrophy and Its Impact on Intimacy

Esther Perel highlights **social atrophy** as a significant factor contributing to the decline in intimacy. Social atrophy refers to the gradual disconnection from meaningful social interactions due to increased reliance on digital communication and decreased face-to-face engagement[1][3]. This trend is exacerbated by the rise of dating apps and social media, which can create a sense of artificial intimacy without truly fulfilling emotional needs[3][5].

### The Role of Technology in Relationship Dynamics

Technology has transformed how we interact, often leading to a **sexual recession** among younger generations. This phenomenon is characterized by reduced sexual frequency and intimacy, partly due to diminished social skills and increased reliance on digital platforms for social interaction[3]. Perel suggests that while technology offers convenience, it also diminishes our capacity for genuine, emotional connections[5].

### Maintaining Intimacy in Long-Term Relationships

Perel emphasizes that maintaining intimacy in long-term relationships requires **ongoing engagement and novelty**. This involves actively investing in the relationship through shared experiences, emotional availability, and understanding one's role within the partnership[3]. Attraction is not merely a biological response but is deeply rooted in emotional connection and storytelling within the relationship[3].

### Reviving Intimacy

While the claim suggests a sense of hopelessness about reviving intimacy, Perel's insights offer a more optimistic perspective. By recognizing the importance of real-life interactions and emotional engagement, individuals can work towards revitalizing their relationships. This involves practicing connection skills, one interaction at a time, and acknowledging that connection is a skill that can be developed over time[2].

### Conclusion

The claim about lost intimacy in a relationship is valid in the context of current societal trends and relationship dynamics. However, it is not irreversible. By understanding the factors contributing to social atrophy and actively working to enhance emotional connections, individuals can potentially revive intimacy in their relationships. This requires a conscious effort to engage in meaningful interactions and recognize the importance of emotional availability in maintaining vibrant partnerships.

### Evidence and References

– **Social Atrophy and Intimacy Decline**: Esther Perel discusses how social atrophy affects intimacy, highlighting the decline in face-to-face interactions and the rise of digital communication[1][3].
– **Role of Technology**: The increased use of technology and dating apps contributes to a sense of artificial intimacy, impacting genuine emotional connections[3][5].
– **Maintaining Intimacy**: Perel emphasizes the need for ongoing engagement and novelty to maintain attraction and intimacy in long-term relationships[3].
– **Reviving Intimacy**: Practicing connection skills and recognizing emotional availability can help revive intimacy[2].

Citations

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